Aus der Kategorie Jiddisch (24/58)

Aus der Kategorie Familienbande

"Vati, kann ich Oma heiraten?", fragt der Sohn. Darauf der Vater:
"Nein Junge, du kannst doch nicht meine Mutter heiraten!"
"Warum denn nicht", sagt der Junge verständnislos, "Du
hast doch auch meine Mutter geheiratet!"

Aus der Kategorie Lustige Texte und witzige Geschichten

Greet God, I write you, because you must help me. I have seen your
Space Shuttle in the television. And so came me the idea to make
holidays in the world-room. Alone. Without my crazy wife. I am the
Kraxlhuber. The King of Bavaria was my clock-clock grandfather. I
stand on a very bad foot with my wife. Always she shouts with me.
She has a shrill voice like a circle saw. She lets no good hair at
me. She says I am a Schlapp-tail. She wants that I become
Bürgermaster. But I want not be Bürgermaster. I have nothing at
the hat with the political shit. I want my Ruah. And so I want
make holidays on the moon. Wizhout my bad half.But I take my dog
with me. He is a boxer. His name is Wurstl. So I want book a
flight in your next Space Shuttle. But please give me not a window
place. I would kotz you the rocket full, because I am not swindle-
free. And no standing-place please... And please do not tell my
wife that I want go alone. She has a big Shrot-gun. She would make
a sieve from my ass. I need not much comfort. A nice double-room
with bath and kloo and heating. And windows with look to the
earth. So I can look through my farglass and see my wife working
on the potatoe field. And I and my dog laugh us a branch ( häha).
We will kringel ourself before laughing ( höhöhöhö)! Is what loose
on the moon? I need worm weather and I hope the sun shines every
day. This is very good for my frost-boils. With friendly Servus
Xaver

Aus der Kategorie Bei Gericht

Mitten in der Verhandlung bittet der Angeklagte ums Wort. "Gut", erwidert der Richter, "aber fassen Sie sich kurz, und sagen Sie nur die Wahrheit - alles andere ist Sache Ihres Verteidigers!"